10. January 2018

No fear of emotions

Success and well-being are only 20% dependent on the intelligence quotient. The emotional quotient controls us 80%! Dealing with emotions is therefore crucial. Without them there would be no motivation, no creativity, no warning of dangers, no desire, no compassion, no joy, no enjoyment, etc. Emotions are vital drivers of our lives. The target-oriented handling of emotions can also be learned in adulthood.

 

 What are emotions?

They are triggered by events around and inside us. Emotions are a sign of what happens to us. They illustrate what moves us and what we need. Intuitively we try to react to emotions and act accordingly.

An example of this:

A superior sends us birthday greetings. We realize that our boss knows when our birthday is and that she takes the time to write us a card. She appreciates us and our work, which moves us inwardly. We react with “joy” and act by being motivated and willing to work for her.

How do you feel about emotions?

  • What triggers the word “emotions” in you?
  • What emotions do you like?
  • Which ones frighten you?

When the going gets tough

Do you know the statement, “There’s no room for emotion at work”? It is wrong – because emotions influence our ability to work. Emotions can be very tiring and difficult. We do not know how to put them into words and sometimes we are even ashamed of them. Some emotions are so painful that we suppress them. They can influence our performance and even make us ill. However, we are not helplessly at their mercy. The confrontation with our emotions is worthwhile. We can learn to listen to them. Emotions are the language of our “inner being”. They tell us where the problem is and what we need. It is important to investigate the cause of these signals and ask why. In this way, we learn to react to emotions in a targeted manner. Often a spontaneous reaction or action brings short-term relief, but no lasting solution.

Typologies

  •  Mindfulness: We perceive our moods and feelings concretely and deal with them appropriately.
  • Flooding: We are completely overwhelmed by our emotions and lose ourselves in it. It is no longer possible to perceive them carefully.
  • Passivity: We perceive emotions in concrete terms, but we do not deal with them. We surrender to our mood without making any constructive changes.
  • Repression: We separate our emotions because they’re too painful.

Most people see mindfulness as something desirable. The good news is that mindfulness is learnable!

The language of emotions

With the acquisition of the basic vocabulary of a language, it is already possible to express feelings in words. In this way, we learn how to deal with basic feelings in most cases from childhood. These are: satisfaction, anger, fear, sadness, joy and shame. If our parents or caregivers have not learned how to deal with one of these basic feelings, they cannot teach them to us. At school, only intellectual skills are trained and emotional abilities are often neglected. It is therefore possible that, even in adulthood, we need someone who looks at our emotions mindfully with us, gives us speech and emotion training and helps us articulate emotions. In this way we learn that we can control our satisfaction and grow in inner vitality.


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