Financial difficulties and family issues

Initial situation

Ms S. contacts Proitera because she is under severe pressure. Her elderly mother has been transferred from hospital to a nursing home, but she cannot afford the required deposit of CHF 6,000. Her mother's local authority refuses to pay the deposit. Ms S. feels responsible.

Proitera’s assignment

On the advice of a colleague, Ms S. contacts Proitera before taking out a consumer loan. She would like a consultation to find out whether it is possible to avoid getting into debt.

Proitera's intervention

During the initial consultation, Ms S. explains that she is overwhelmed by the care of her elderly mother, who is in need of assistance. Her mother's advancing illness and move to a nursing home are placing a heavy burden on her. The administration, contact with the authorities and the nursing home, and, to cap it all, difficulties with financing her deposit – it is simply too much. Added to this is the feeling of having a constant ‘lump’ in her stomach, which is causing concentration problems and difficulty sleeping.

During the conversation, attention is paid to this ‘lump in the stomach’. It is an indicator of Ms S.'s blockage. Using the focusing method, it becomes clear that feelings of guilt and shame are at the heart of her exhaustion and despair. Finally, Ms S. is able to admit that she feels like a failure as a daughter who is unable to provide financially for her biological mother. Naming this miserable feeling and owning it helps her to understand herself and her reactions better. This realisation is an enormous relief for Ms S.

Ms S. also learns to recognise the limits of her responsibility towards her mother and her own capabilities, and to accept this as a normal reaction to an extraordinary situation. In this context, accepting outside help suddenly seems important and right to her. On this basis, she agrees to the counsellor contacting the local authority and the nursing home on her behalf to find a viable financial solution. The negotiations are tough but productive. Strengthened by the advice she received from Proitera, Ms S. is able to make a financial contribution to the local authority and a breakthrough is achieved.

Result

The deposit payment is covered by the local authority and Ms S.'s mother can remain in the nursing home. Thanks to her involvement, Ms S. feels relieved. Freed from unpleasant feelings, she can visit her mother and finally have relaxed, clarifying conversations with her again. With Proitera's support, Ms S. was able to avoid debt and feels inspired.